Joseph the Pony with the Long and Flowing Hair

Once upon a time there was a little pony named Joseph. He was the proudest of all the little ponies because he had the longest, flowingest hair in the entire Pony Kingdom. Most of the other ponies didn't like him because he was so arrogant, but Joseph just told himself that because their hair was mangy and dirty, they were just jealous. You see, to Joseph, everyone was jealous.

One day, when Joseph was combing his long and flowing hair, he realized that his brush was sparkling. His brush had never sparkled before, so he spent a few hours staring at it trying to figure out why such a simple object would sparkle like that. Perhaps, he thought to himself, that brush was in awe and wanted his hair to be even more long and flowing, so it would be longer and flowinger than even HIS hair! So he spent the rest of the afternoon brushing his long and flowing hair with his sparkly brush. Soon the sun went down and the brush no longer sparkled, so Joseph decided that he would go to bed and dream about long and flowing hair and sparkly brushes.

But when Joseph got to his bed, he realized that now that his hair was even more long and flowing, his regular old pillow didn’t deserve to hold his hair. That presented a problem for Joseph, because he didn’t know where ponies got their pillows. Ever since he’d been created as a fictional character he had had his pillow, so now that he needed a new one, he didn’t know what to do. But then the narrator realized that he needed a new pillow for his long and flowing hair brushed by a sparkly brush, and Joseph discovered that there was suddenly a red silk pillow resting delicately upon his bed. Such a fine pillow had never been seen throughout the land! Joseph had spent so much time worrying about his long and flowing hair that was now even longer and more flowing because he had brushed it with his sparkly brush that he was very tired, so he laid his head down on the red silk pillow and fell asleep, there to dream of long and flowing pony hair, brushes that sparkled, and red silk pillows.

Then, while he slept, the other ponies crept in, cut all his hair, and ruined Joseph’s happy life forever.